Will You Choose Fear or Faith?

Sleep did not come easy for me last night. I kept thinking about how different this morning would be from what it almost was. Today would have been my kids' first day back to school, my baby girl's first day of kindergarten! Today would have been my first day back at a full time job for the first time in twelve years! As I lay there, I couldn't help but remember how many times I've heard people say, "God has a sense of humor". I have to agree with them!

Ten years ago this month I was starting nursing school. I had my future....my  family's future, all planned out. I would become a nurse, work part-time while my babies were little, and then as soon as my youngest went off to kindergarten, I would finally rejoin the workforce! I would interact with adults on a daily basis, and finally have a steady paycheck!  My hopes were to be a school nurse at their school, where I could easily drop them off and pick them up each day. I would be close by and easily involved in school activities.  I would have teacher's hours, and summers off, but without all the lesson planning and classroom preparation. It was perfect! Yep, my plan was perfect....except for one thing,  it wasn't HIS plan.

Fast forward ten years. Here I am at my computer, a home-school mom, coffee in hand, taking a break from my lesson planning and classroom preparation to write this blog. Trust me, the irony is not lost on me :) As I lay there last night, I realized just how much the Lord blesses his children for being obedient.  For having complete faith, for not questioning, and reasoning and worrying about what people will think. And I had to wonder how many times I've missed out on blessings because I let "my ways" get in the way of His.  God called me to do something completely different than I had planned. He called me to something that I never would have dreamed I would or even could do! It was different, far from the normal, completely out of my comfort zone, and quite honestly the scariest decision Jeremy and I have made as parents! The good news is, no matter how scary something may seem, when you know the Lord is in the midst of it, it's only a matter of time before the fear of the unknown fades and it's replaced with peace, contentment, boldness, and reassurance! It doesn't have to be homeschooling, you may be facing any number of decisions in your life. Just know that if God is tugging at your heart and asking something of you, he will be there every step of the way!  Don't let fear rob you of what could be your greatest blessing! 

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

Time Marches On..... in a Bottle

I hate waking up to a messy kitchen. I mean, I really hate it. It puts me behind schedule for the rest of the day. I can vaguely remember a time when I never, ever went to bed until my kitchen was spotless and pristine. I think that was..... two kids ago. This morning I woke up to a "surely a tornado came through last night" kitchen. Complete with a sink full of disgustingly dirty dishes, griddle still on the counter from yesterdays pancakes, and cracker crumbs on the floor.
They say life is about choices, and last night I made the choice to have movie night with my five year old instead of slave over my kitchen for an hour. We made popcorn (that's an entirely different mess, still on my living room table), we put on our favorite pajamas, and curled up on the couch and stayed up way past her bedtime.

I missed the first few minutes of the movie. I just couldn't quit staring at this precious little person cuddled up next to me. Those big blue eyes, and that sweet little voice. And then my heart sank. I realized just how fast these past five years had flown by. I realized that before I know it this precious little person will likely be taller than me.  My oldest will be eleven in just under two months. That's two short years away from a teenager. Five short years away from driving. Seven short years away from him going off to college. Yes, I got a little emotional.
If only I could bottle up that feeling of time running out and put it in a pretty antique bottle with a lid. I would set it on the counter in my messy kitchen, where I spend most of my time. And when that precious five year old isn't being so precious, but instead starting to throw a tantrum, I could unscrew the lid and let a little bit of that feeling rush over me. I bet then, losing my patience wouldn't even be an option.

Ideally, I guess I should have a couple of bottles. This way I could also set one upstairs on the bookshelf between the kids bedrooms. Then when my boys decide that they would rather stay up talking and giggling instead of actually going to sleep, I could grab it on my way in their room. Surely it would help me remember that, this too shall pass. One day, all to soon, I'm sure they'll decide they want their own rooms, and that cuddling up next to one another just isn't cool anymore.

Maybe I could find a neat bottle to put in our classroom, or a jar, or maybe even a five gallon bucket with a lid! You see, this is where I need the most patience and the biggest reminder of how quickly these years will pass.

This way, when my seven year old tries to once again divert attention from his math lesson by asking impossible questions about fictional things, I won't become frustrated. Instead I could simply take off the lid, and stick my whole head in the bucket. Then I could come up thankful for how blessed I am to have such a creative, funny little guy. Surely then I would be reminded to use his wonderful imagination as a teaching tool, instead of looking at it as a time waster.

For all of you moms like myself who at times feel frustrated with the everyday battles of raising children.... one day we'll look up and realize it's been years since we've witnessed a tantrum. They won't need our constant reminders to blow their noses or wash their hands. One day the complaints of how "gross" the meal we just spent hours preparing is, will stop. The muddy footprints across the floor..... only a memory. And the frustration we feel trying to get them to clean their room...... it will be replaced with missing the precious five year old that once occupied that messy room.

I know there's no way to put feelings in a pretty bottle, but I'm going to take a lesson from my seven year old and try really hard to imagine there is. I will choose to be joyful in all things concerning raising these little people, and pray that I am constantly aware of just how fast this precious time will pass!