Change is Good..... I Can Do This!

Our family is about to make a big change! After much prayer, thought, doubt, and tears, we've decided to start homeschooling our children. It wasn't an easy decision. It should have been, because I've felt called to homeschool for about two years now.
Well, let me start from the beginning. I grew up in the public school systems, and so when I had children, it was just a given that they would also. I never considered homeschooling. I knew several people, including family and friends, who provided their own children's education, but still never considered it for my kids.
Owen attended a christian pre-school, and then started kindergarten at Wayland. When he was in first grade, I remember sending him to school one day and feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt about sending him away for seven hours a day, five days a week. This was my precious child that God entrusted me to raise and teach, and I'm sending him to a place to be taught by people I barely know! Don't get me wrong. We love Wayland, and Owen has been fortunate enough to have great teachers every school year. The problem is, no matter how great a teacher is, no one cares about my child or his education more than me!
The thought of homeschooling crossed my mind, but didn't seem realistic. I mentioned it to Jeremy, and I knew right away that it wouldn't work. He had a lot of misconceptions about kids who were homeschooled, the same ones I had heard for years.
Over the next year and a half, every time I would think about homeschooling, I would push the thought away. I would tell myself that Owen would be fine going to public schools, I mean look at all the children who do. I also knew that without my husbands support, it wouldn't work. Then there was the fear of me failing. But at the same time I knew that anything God called me to do, he would help me through, and make it a huge success!
This past summer, an old friend of mine, and a couple in our church decided to start homeschooling. Around the same time, I started praying hard that if God wanted us to homeschool, that he would show Jeremy, and that he would give me the courage to take such a huge leap of faith.
Owen started third grade this past fall. I still felt the guilt on a daily basis. When God calls you to do something, you won't be happy or fulfilled until you obey him. I know this, and I've experienced it in other areas of my life. So, I knew it would be the same way concerning this issue, and yet I resisted. The main reason being that I needed my husband behind me supporting me and cheering me on.
Last week I ran into a girl I went to high school with who homeschools her two boys. Sunday morning before church I was telling Jeremy about it. My prayers from the last six months were finally answered when Jeremy told me that if I felt called to homeschool that he would support me!
At first I felt excitement, but that quickly turned to fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing. I had so many questions! Which curriculum? Can I still work one day a week, or do I need to quit my job? How do I start? Do I wait until next school year, or start now?
I'm so thankful that I have a couple of great friends who have been there to answer these questions and help support me!
Monday afternoon I was cooking dinner, and I began to to thank God for answering my prayers. The guilt and doubt that I'd felt for so long was gone, just like that! And in it's place was an overwhelming peace and joy! I couldn't stop crying! It's a great feeling to know that you are finally doing his will and not your own!
I am so thankful that God has called me to teach my children. I know it's not going to be easy, and I'm sure there will be days when I doubt myself, but I'll stand firm on his promises, knowing this is the right thing for our family.