Friday, October 12, 2012

Selfish People

There's only one word to express how I felt tonight as I drove home from a get-together with some old church friends......Frustrated! Not what you were expecting? Me either.  My frustration stemmed from two particular people there. They were being selfish, needy, clingy, and were both terrible about interrupting me every time I would try to have a conversation with someone! The worst part..... when I left things didn't get any better, because those two people were in the back seat of my van the whole way home! Yep, you guessed it, those two people were my youngest two children.

I had been looking forward to tonight for several weeks. Getting to talk to people who I had gone to church with as a little girl, getting to listen to them sing gospel music and just enjoy every one's company. But instead, I was poked at every few minutes, "Mommy, come play shadow tag with me" "Mommy, I want another hot dog." Mommy, hold this for me", "Mommy, I need to go pee." You get the picture. I'm sure my patience was running thin quicker than usual because I was tired, and Jeremy wasn't there to ease the burden of two of them coming at me at once.

After about two hours, I finally decided it was time to leave.  I loaded them up in the van only to realize that Jameson had left one of his drawings inside. I went back to get it, but couldn't find it.  I knew, of course, this would mean whining on the way home. Sadly, I was right.

My thoughts on the way home...."Why did I even bother going?" "Surely, no one else's kids are THIS clingy and whiny." "Why again, do I home school, and subject myself to being with my children 24/7?"
The kids grew quiet in the backseat, and I could tell they were drifting off. I knew I was in desperate need of some Jesus time, and I just began to pray and cry, and pray some more.

And then, like it always does, it hit me. It was me, not my kids. I was the one being selfish. I wanted to have my time to talk and catch up without interruption. My kids saw hot dogs and smores, and a fire, and of course wanted some. They only knew a few people there, and so of course they would cling to me, I'm their safe place. Looking back on the night, they really weren't that demanding, at least not for a 3 and 6 year old. I started to reflect on the night. It was good to see everyone, some that I hadn't seen in more than 10 years. I got to talk to a sweet young mom and hold her precious baby boy. Her husband is in Afghanistan right now serving our country. She shared with me what it is like having to live so far away from the one you love. I started to pray for her and her little family. It wasn't long before the frustration was gone and replaced with thankfulness.

I pulled into our driveway, and got the kids inside to get them ready for bed. Jameson asked if I would help him brush his teeth, because he was just too tired. I said sure, and he replied, "Mom, I'm so lucky I have you for a Mom." If only he knew.... I'm the lucky one:)

No comments:

Post a Comment