Love Conquers All

I have to admit, these last few weeks I’ve felt discouraged, saddened, and frustrated. It seems like every time I turn around I hear about another couple separating or getting divorced. When I hear something like this, my heart literally aches. My mind wonders if anyone takes their marriage vows seriously anymore. Do couples realize what they’re actually saying when the words, “For better or for worse” come across their lips? Or is it just part of the script, words repeated out of tradition, with no real meaning behind them?

Twelve years ago, I said those words. I don’t think at the time I realized the magnitude of what I was saying. I just knew that I was in love, and naively thought that I would have a near perfect marriage, because God had given me what I felt was a near perfect man. A Christian man who loved me unconditionally. I was nineteen on our wedding day, and looking back, I realize just how immature I was concerning marriage. Are you ready for this? When I would hear someone say, “Marriage isn’t easy, it takes work.” I honestly remember thinking, “Not our marriage. We don’t have to work at it, because we love each other so much.”

Thankfully, I’ve come to realize just what those people meant by “working at a marriage.” I’ve learned so much over the last twelve years. I’ve learned the importance of realizing and admitting when I’m wrong, and the importance of letting the little things go. I’ve learned that God gives me strength when my husband is weak, and vice versa, and the importance of lifting each other up in these times. I’ve realized that for a marriage to work and be all that it’s meant to be, it has to be rooted in Christ. Most importantly, I’ve realized that on July 15, 2000, I didn’t just get a new last name, and permission to live with my best friend. I made a promise before God. I became one with this man who I pledged to love unconditionally. I promised to stand by his side no matter what may come our way. It hasn’t always been easy, but the payoff of sticking it out and working through the tough times far outweighs the tough times themselves.

When we experience a trial or hard time in other areas of our lives; we acknowledge that in the end it will make us a stronger person. We take comfort in knowing that if we’ll just endure and have faith we’ll come out stronger on the other side. But when our marriage comes up against a hard time, we’re so quick to give up, or take the so called “easy way out”. Does God not call us to love others as Christ loves us? (John 13:34) He loved us so much that he suffered and died in an agonizing and humiliating way. This scripture speaks volumes to just how much we are to love others, especially our spouses! It’s easy to place blame on our spouse, and feel that we don’t deserve whatever it is we’re going through. But you see it’s not about what we deserve or don’t deserve. It’s not about who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s not about keeping score, or who has been worse. It’s about honoring our vows. It’s about loving our spouse when they’re unlovable. Why? Because we made a vow we would. It’s about making a decision to show love even when we don’t “feel” like it. Love is a choice.

The bible tells us that through marriage,a husband and wife become one flesh. (Mark 10:8) This isn’t just a physical thing made evident by a marriage license. It’s a spiritual joining by God, and no attorney or bill of divorcement can undo that. Today, couples give up on their marriages too soon. They don’t make every effort to save it. I know that God can restore even the most hopeless and broken marriages.

My hope and prayer is that someone considering divorce will read this blog, and have a change of heart. I pray they’ll realize that there is absolutely no truth to divorce being the easy way out. I hope they’ll seek God and give him complete and total control over their heart, spouse, and marriage. I hope they’ll learn to love their spouse unconditionally, and that their marriage comes out on the other side stronger and better than ever!