Change is Good..... I Can Do This!

Our family is about to make a big change! After much prayer, thought, doubt, and tears, we've decided to start homeschooling our children. It wasn't an easy decision. It should have been, because I've felt called to homeschool for about two years now.
Well, let me start from the beginning. I grew up in the public school systems, and so when I had children, it was just a given that they would also. I never considered homeschooling. I knew several people, including family and friends, who provided their own children's education, but still never considered it for my kids.
Owen attended a christian pre-school, and then started kindergarten at Wayland. When he was in first grade, I remember sending him to school one day and feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt about sending him away for seven hours a day, five days a week. This was my precious child that God entrusted me to raise and teach, and I'm sending him to a place to be taught by people I barely know! Don't get me wrong. We love Wayland, and Owen has been fortunate enough to have great teachers every school year. The problem is, no matter how great a teacher is, no one cares about my child or his education more than me!
The thought of homeschooling crossed my mind, but didn't seem realistic. I mentioned it to Jeremy, and I knew right away that it wouldn't work. He had a lot of misconceptions about kids who were homeschooled, the same ones I had heard for years.
Over the next year and a half, every time I would think about homeschooling, I would push the thought away. I would tell myself that Owen would be fine going to public schools, I mean look at all the children who do. I also knew that without my husbands support, it wouldn't work. Then there was the fear of me failing. But at the same time I knew that anything God called me to do, he would help me through, and make it a huge success!
This past summer, an old friend of mine, and a couple in our church decided to start homeschooling. Around the same time, I started praying hard that if God wanted us to homeschool, that he would show Jeremy, and that he would give me the courage to take such a huge leap of faith.
Owen started third grade this past fall. I still felt the guilt on a daily basis. When God calls you to do something, you won't be happy or fulfilled until you obey him. I know this, and I've experienced it in other areas of my life. So, I knew it would be the same way concerning this issue, and yet I resisted. The main reason being that I needed my husband behind me supporting me and cheering me on.
Last week I ran into a girl I went to high school with who homeschools her two boys. Sunday morning before church I was telling Jeremy about it. My prayers from the last six months were finally answered when Jeremy told me that if I felt called to homeschool that he would support me!
At first I felt excitement, but that quickly turned to fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failing. I had so many questions! Which curriculum? Can I still work one day a week, or do I need to quit my job? How do I start? Do I wait until next school year, or start now?
I'm so thankful that I have a couple of great friends who have been there to answer these questions and help support me!
Monday afternoon I was cooking dinner, and I began to to thank God for answering my prayers. The guilt and doubt that I'd felt for so long was gone, just like that! And in it's place was an overwhelming peace and joy! I couldn't stop crying! It's a great feeling to know that you are finally doing his will and not your own!
I am so thankful that God has called me to teach my children. I know it's not going to be easy, and I'm sure there will be days when I doubt myself, but I'll stand firm on his promises, knowing this is the right thing for our family.

They'll be Grown before you Know it.

If you're a parent, you've probably heard someone say to you at least once, "Enjoy these times with your little ones, they'll be grown before you know it." I've always known how true this is, but sometimes it just sinks in more than others. This morning was one of those times.
Owen will be nine in April. Nine years old! It seems like just yesterday, we were outside swinging him in his baby swing. Jameson will start kindergarten this fall, and Ava, my baby, just turned three. I've been so busy, and consumed the past 9 years with being pregnant, nursing, changing diapers, potty training and chasing toddlers, that I didn't really take time to think about how different life would be when all of that was over.
This morning I was lying in bed watching cartoons with Jameson and Ava, and it hit me all of a sudden just how fast these precious first years are flying by. As much as I wish I could at times, I can't make them quit growing, or freeze time. All I can do is step back, slow down, and take it all in. I know they'll be grown before I know it, which is why I'll be sure to listen even more intently when Jameson tells me a story about what happened at preschool, or wants to share with me what he dreamed last night. I'll read that book, and work the princess puzzle "just one more time" when Ava ask for the 10th time. And I'll be sure to appreciate Owen's wit and sense of humor, and always be there whenever any of my three children need me.

Passion

What are you passionate about? I mean really passionate about? Passion is defined as any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling. Our pastor spoke about passion today, and how our relationship with God must be out of passion and not just out of habit. It really made me think. I've been there. There have been times that I've gotten up on Sunday mornings simply because I knew it was the right thing to do. Because I knew that my children needed that foundation in order to grow up and be the stong Christians that I pray everyday they will be. I don't want that to ever be the case again. People say it's hard to break a habit, but I can tell you it's much easier to break a habit, than it is to break something you're truly passionate about. You know how sometimes you can hear something a thousand times, but then all of a sudden you hear it again, and it seems brand new? I had that happen today. I know that God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for me. I've heard it since I was a little girl, but today when our pastor made reference to his own son, and how as a parent you always have you're childs best interest at heart, and you're job is to protect them no matter what. It really hit me again just how much God loves us. I thought of Owen, and how I couldn't imagine having to watch him suffer and be tormented the way Jesus was. Every fiber of my being would be ready to jump up and save him. But you see, my mindset, our mindset is so often not an eternal mindset. I pray everyday that God will help me to have an eternal mindset. I used to get so caught up in the here and now, and would be so passionate about things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Having an eternal mindset really is a remarkable thing, you should try it. I promise you'll have less stress and worry in your life, and less arguments with your spouse:) It makes you realize that there's a much bigger picture than just your little life and your little family. Don't get me wrong it's not always easy, there are still times when I start to get worked up about something, and I have to remind myself that I'm wasting my passion on something so unimportant, when there are so many extremely important things that I need to direct some passion towards!

Things that Make Me Smile.........

A list of simple things that make me smile, no matter how bad of a day I might be having.

From morning to bedtime........

Waking up to the smell of coffee that my wonderful husband has started:)

Seeing Jameson run down the hall with that huge grin on his face right after hopping out of bed, he's a morning person all the way! (complete opposite of me)

The smell of gain laundry detergent:)

Recieving a text or call from Jeremy. Especially the one around 4:30 that says he's on his way home:)

Listening to Ava's play phone conversations. She loves calling Daddy, Nana and Miss Becky. Last week she called Jesus:)

Snuggling up in my bed to watch a movie with Jameson while Ava naps.
(of course we usually end up napping too)

Hearing the school bus pull up, followed by seeing my handsome soon to be 8 year old come in the back door:)

Watching Jameson run up and hug Owen after missing him all day:)

Seeing all three kids run up to Jeremy screaming, "Daddy" when he walks in the door.

Seeing Jeremy walk in the door;)

Anytime Jameson refers to Owen as his "buddy" or tells Ava that she is "precious":)

When Ava grabs my cheeks and says "chubby cheeks, chubby cheeks" in her silly voice. She started this a few weeks ago, and we laughed, so now it's a daily thing:)

I'm sure there are many more, but these are just a few that really stand out, and always put a smile on my face!

Always late but thankful!

So I'm a couple of days late blogging about all the wonderful things I'm thankful for. No surprise there. It seems no matter how hard I try to get things done on time, or be on time, I'm still late. Trust me, it hasn't always been this way. I can vaguely remember a time before kids when I was always early! Boy does that seem like a lifetime ago!
Jameson had his four year check-up last week, and I was twenty minutes late! I'm blaming this one on the nice man at Chase though. For once I was early, twenty minutes early to be exact. So, I thought instead of sitting in Owensboro Pediatrics waiting for twenty minutes, I would try to squeeze in a quick run. If you know me at all, you know that I always think I can squeeze in way more than humanly possible. Anyway, I've been needing to open a new checking account for my Thirty-one business, so I called and spoke with this very nice man at Chase. He assured me that he could get a new account opened in 10-15 minutes. I warned him I had a two and four year old with me, and had to be at the Dr.'s office by 10:45. He assured me I'd be done in time. Thirty minutes later, I'm rushing out the door, calling Owensboro Pediatrics begging them to let me keep Jameson's appointment. They informed me that they had a new policy that stated if anyone is more than 15 minutes late, they must reschedule. Well, I must have sounded desperate, because they saw him. This I am very thankful for!
Sometimes I try to remember back to before we had kids. I try to remember what it was like to be early or just on time. I try to remember what it was like to just get myself ready, without packing an array of snacks, toys and sippy cups. I try to remember what it was like to sit down and have a meal without wiping mouths, hands, noses, and taking several potty breaks. I remember that life was less chaotic then, but it was also a whole lot less fun!
This brings me to the part of what I'm thankful for. I am so thankful that the Lord blessed Jeremy and me with three wonderful, healthy kids. I love watching them explore and learn new things. I love watching them grow even though it happens way too fast! I love waking up every single day and spending time with them. I may be late everywhere I go, and life may be very chaotic at times, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!

Jameson Cole

My baby boy is turning four a month from tomorrow. I hate how fast they grow up, but at he same time, I'm looking forward to him turning four, and hoping it's a much better year for us then the last two. From birth to about 2 years old, he was so easy and good. Then a couple of months before he turned two, he threw his first tantrum! I was four months pregnant with Ava, and thought, "What have I gotten myself into?!" Somedays he would throw up to 8 tantrums a day, and I'm talking about throwing himself in the floor and kicking and screaming. Then when he was a little older, he started whining. This was new territory for us. Owen, my oldest, could always be reasoned with, never whined, and might have thrown a fit now and then as a toddler, but nothing like this.

So, for two years now, we've tried everything to stop his tantrums. I've even got on the floor and thrown one myself, trying to show him how ridiculous it looked. He stopped for a second, and then decided he needed to scream louder to drown out my tantrum. I can't tell you how many times I've prayed about this, and wondered what are we doing wrong. There have been times I've dreaded going out in public, when he was in one of his moods. Thankfully, over time, I've learned what triggers his tantrums, and now can pretty much stop them before they start . He still has his days where he might have a meltdown, but most days, he does great.

Okay, so now I get to brag about all of his good qualities. The reasons that even when he was throwing his worst fit, I didn't send him to Nana's to live (just kidding). Jameson has always been so compassionate. If he sees someone hurt or upset, he has to check on them, and try to make them feel better. He gives the best hugs and kisses and is never stingy with them! He has a wonderful imagination, and can sit and play with a gumball machine toy for hours. He's always been great about sharing, and making friends. Anytime we see a kid his age out somewhere, he waves and introduces himself. He is so smart. He's been reading ( 3 letter words) since about 3 1/2. He has a great sense of humor, and keeps us laughing!

I can't wait for the fits and whining to be behind us for good, but will definately miss him being three and all the cute things he did!

From Blah to Blessings.

I'm just having one of those blah mornings. I did not get enough sleep, and I wasn't ready to get up this morning. I worked last night. My shift ends at eleven o'clock, but by the time I give report, and finish charting, I usually don't leave until around 11:30, or midnight, or ......... you get the picture. However, last night was an unusually great night. I gave report a little early and was clocked out and headed to Wal-mart by 11:05. Yes, you read it right, going to Wal-mart. I decided after much debate that it was worth staying up later, not to have to drag three kids out today to go grocery shopping. An added bonus is all the weird things you get to see at Beaver Dam Walmart late at night. I forgot to look up and see if it was a full moon, but it must have been!
I didn't fall asleep until well after 1 am, and Jameson woke me up bright and early at 7:30, Judging from the pain I feel now, I must have slept on my left shoulder wrong. I made my coffee like every morning, but the filter folded over, and resulted in coffee grounds swimming in my cup. I've already had to referee several arguments between my boys. The biggest was over the back of a cereal box. It didn't matter that I thought I was being smart by sitting out two boxes, they both wanted to look at the back of the Honey Nut Cheerios.
Anyway it's 9:30 now, and enough complaining about the rough start to my day. I know it hasn't truly been a rough start, it's just my perception of it due to how exhausted I am. It's time to do what I aways do when I have mornings like this. I force my self to think positive, and count my blessings. I look at my three, sometimes difficult, but nonetheless precious children and I pray very very hard that all three them will take a very long nap today, so that I can get one too!